“If I Live Long Enough…”

“If I Life Long Enough…”

Lately… my favorite mantra is, “If I Live Long Enough…”

Watching those that are near and dear to me getting up there in age and experiencing all the difficulties that co me with this “blessing” of growing older, I finally came to the realization that “if you live long enough”, we will all experience those physical, emotional and mental challenges that come with aging; memory loss, physical ailments, hearing loss.. to whatever extent that might be; we are all different, of course.

Now, I don’t mean to sound so melancholy or all doom and gloom. We all know it’s just a fact of life that as we age, our bodies just do not seem to want to cooperate with us the way it used to.

As a Baby Boomer turning 51 next week, I must admit that my “Senior Moments” seem to be creeping up on me more than I would like them to. My shoulder pain has definitely overstayed its welcome and my caloric intake has had to be adjusted DOWN!

It’s funny to me that my mom used to say that she was always amazed at how many doctor appointments her parents (my grandparents) had every day of the week! It was a running joke with them; “so what doctor appointment do you have today?”

Well… now my mother and father, age 76 and 81, respectively, seem to be doing the same thing. Of course, I NEVER make fun. You know why? Because…

 “If I Live Long Enough…”

Whoever said “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”?

Really? Whoever said ” You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” Well I beg to differ! My father, who is a senior for sure, aged 80 to be exact can prove this to be all wrong. Why you may ask? BECAUSE… At 80.5 years old, my dad, a veterinarian by trade since 1955, just passed his State Board exam to practice veterinary medicine here in New Jersey!

I recently moved my parents from Florida here to South Jersey, as I felt that they were starting to need more attention and care. And of course, as a babyboomer child, I coaxed them to make this change as I felt it was the best for them. They have been here in New Jersey for 8 months and have a better social life than me!!

So back to the matter at hand… You are never too old to do anything you want to do. It just doesnt matter! My father put his mind to it, studied, and studied some more and there you have it. I am so proud of him. He claims he is the oldest person in the world to pass a medical state board at the age of 80. I bet he’s right. I told him to send it to the Ripleys Believe it or not!

If you have older parents or relatives, don’t discourage them from doing something they want to do. (unless its not healthy or dangerous!). Just because they are aging, doesnt mean that they can’t still accomplish major wins in their lives.

So for you all out there who have aging parents, my sage advice is… ENCOURAGE, SUPPORT AND AKNOWLEDGE their accomplishments. They certainly deserve it.

Congrats Dad.

What is an ADVOCATE

Advocate-  "One that supports or promotes the interests of another."

 

Who is your advocate? More importantly: If you have an aging parent or close relative, who is their advocate?

What happens if you or a loved one goes into the hospital for a routine procedure or something more serious?

AND what if your aging parent(s) or close family member does not have anyone close to them to be that advocate?

Story… I live here in South Jersey and a dear friend of mine who lives here as well in south Jersey  told me that her father living north by 2 hours, fell, broke his nose and had to go to the hospital. By the way, he is 94 years old and lives independently! When she went to see him and bring him home, this is how the hospital staff sent him on his way…. blood under his fingernails, all his clothes rolled up in a ball in a bag with the soiled underwear as part of that package and blood still all around his nose and face!

Now mind you this was not a life threatening situation; (they did test for brain injury- all clear) BUT who in their right mind would send this elderly man home in this condition????

I understand that the hospitals are overwhelmed. I get that. But that type of care is just horrible. So, I ask you… who will take care or you or your aging parent should you or them need hospital care? So many things can go wrong in the hospital so for all yours sakes- PREPARE!

 

Should a buyer be forced to purchase a MONEY PIT?

Should the buyer be pressured to purchase home that looks to be a MONEY PIT after a home inspection

At what point should the seller and seller’s agent just allow the buyers to walk?

What if the seller responds that they will fix the problems with “their” contractors?

Ahh… such a dilemma!

Yes, we are ruled by the laws of our individual states.  Being  an agent in New Jersey, I know that our laws differ significantly from other states but I am struggling with at what point do we try to keep the deal together and when do we say, Run and don’t look back!

I just came out of a deal whereby the buyers wanted to void the sale as soon as the home inspection was completed.
(I represented the buyer) The home had water, roof, deck, fireplace problems and potential foundation issues. And this was not all of it.  Seller claims they had no money during negotiations, but was ready to “fix” the problems for closing.  The buyer then worries as to what type of contractors will be called in to make the repairs.  The buyers did do their part on sending a letter requesting  for repairs; knowing tthey wanted out which, was by the way, was made clear to the sellers from the get-go.

PROBLEM-The sellers kept skirting the issues on some of the requests. This deal was becoming a nightmare in the making.  Buyer wants out, Seller says they will repair, etc. but does not fully address some of the issues.

Buyer continues to ask for release. Not yet! Buyers and myself for that matter felt as though they were being bamboozled into a house they absolutely DID NOT WANT!

Of course, we should do our best to help remedy the problems and try to get the deal to close, but we also have a fiduciary duty to our client. So, I ask, how do we continue to represent our client when in our professional experience when  we know that this home is a MONEY PIT?

Is my life really an open book?

Is my life really an open book?

After much thought about this, I decided- NOT!

I have entered into a time in my life where many changes are taking place on many levels. As a daughter, sister, mother, wife and business woman, I almost feel that its my “duty” to create awareness to those around me and the world at large of the challenges that   I and many other Baby Boomers face on a regular basis. The Baby Boomer generation has also taken on a new role which is being called the Sandwich Generation; taking care not only of our children at home, but also taking on the responsibility of aging parents.

Let me just say… Living it is not the same as observing it! Until now, I have been an observer. Listening to some of my friends speak of the challenges they have with their aging parents.  I would, of course, shake my head in acknowledgement and understanding. Little did I know what was and is ahead of me. As I continue to fulfill my duties and responsibilities of a mother, I now need and want to watch over my aging parents.

As many of you have seen, I have been posting “events” and traumas that have been taking place with my own aging parents. As an example: My mom, who is a pretty decent driver, lost control of her car and ended up by crashing her car into the side of a restaurant. Thank goodness she wasn’t hurt! It was a sobering experience for her as it was for the rest of us.  

 Be prepared for the unexpected. Be prepared to be racing to their rescue when least expected.

I am not trying to expose their life or mine like a reality show! But rather, it is my goal to create awareness of the unforeseen challenges that can come our way as being Baby Boomer children of aging parents.

 

Who is the “Sandwich Generation”?

  How does one define the “Sandwich Generation”?

 The formal term is defined as follows: The Sandwich Generation describes those who provide care for both their dependent children and their parents.

 AARP has indicated that 44% of 44-45 year olds have at least one living parent and at least one child who is under the age of 21. As life expectancy increases, the number of Baby Boomers who have elderly parents will grow by leaps and bounds.

 How does this affect the Baby Boomer generation? Quite simply: It increases the level of stress for the Sandwich Generation as they try to balance the needs of children living at home and the needs of their aging parent(s).

 It makes it even more complicated as the Sandwich Generation tends to live far away from the aging parent. This can make decision making much more complicated.

 It is important for me to note here, that I just moved my parents from a different part of the country to be close to me here in South Jersey. I felt they needed to be close by as the physical issues were becoming a daily challenge for them.

 I now consider myself a member of the Sandwich Generation. With 4 children, 3 under the age of 21, and two aging parents, aged 75 and 80, the amount of  time now spent on assisting them and caring for my own family has become a balancing act for me. Don’t get me wrong…  It is my pleasure to be able to assist them. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I will say, however, between children and family, work, daily “stuff” and now the responsibility of helping my parents, my time management skills are being put to good use!

 So you may be asking- “So what now? In my humble but experienced opinion- I would recommend the following:

 1) Make sure you are on the same page as your siblings when deciding on how to care for your aging parents.

 2) If your parents live far away, opening up a conversation with them regarding a move closer to you or one of your siblings, would be a wise choice. (After going through this- when something serious happens, you dont want them to figure it out on their own!)

 3)  If they are going to move closer to you or one of your siblings, determine who will be helping them with the real estate decisions. This alone can create huge anxiety!!

 4) Determine who will assist in their finances. As they age, it becomes more difficult to understand the monetary changes that can happen. It is critical that they have an advocate such as yourself or another close family member.

 5) If you visit www.theupsidetodownsizing.com  you will find more detailed guidelines on whether its time for your parents to move and the steps you may need to take.

 Helping your aging parents to put a plan in place before there is a traumatic event will help you to stay a happy “Sandwich Generation” member!!

Ah… The Tales of Yore~

I just  love listening to my dad tell stories of the past. The experiences he had and the events that shaped his life is just so interesting to me. Being the gregarious individual that he is, it seems that just about EVERYONE is enamored by his stories. As an aging senior, 80 years to be exact- I often think to myself, how much longer will he be around to tell his wonderful Tales of Yore! Sitting around the dinner table last night for Father’s Day, dad was telling other family members how he ended up in veterinary school all the way down in Georgia; given the fact he was a Massachusetts guy. After my almost 50 years of being his daughter- I never heard this story! I can only imagine the ones I still haven’t heard.

As a daughter of an aging senior, my thoughts keep going back to why not videotape these great stories? Someday, my parents will not be around to tell them, so why not document them while they are alive and still have their memories intact?  What a wonderful legacy for our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. My uncle did this with my grandparents, who of course, have passed on, but it was a great way for us to all look a back,reminisce, see their faces and hear their voices.

So as this daughter of aging seniors- I am going to make it my business to get the key stories recorded on video.  Anyone care to join me?

Are you a credit worthy Baby Boomer or Senior?

 Are you a credit worthy Baby Boomer or Senior?

Maybe, Maybe not!

When was the last time you checked your credit?

This topic is of interest to me  as I just recently asked my 80 year old father, “Do you know what your credit score is?” Not only did he not know, but he hadn’t run it in years and didn’t know how to even find out this information. This was obviously a concern to me as EVERYONE, from seniors, baby boomers, middle aged, and all the way down to young adulthood should know if they are credit worthy.

As a Baby Boomer myself, I check my credit at least once a year. I want to be sure there is nothing that will affect my ability to obtain credit. With most Baby Boomers having children in college, it is SO important to maintain good credit especially if you plan on taking out any student loans.

How’s this for a little tidbit?? Did you know that your credit score directly impacts insurance rates? Insurance companies use an “Insurance Score” which is directly related to your actual credit score. Studies have shown that those individuals with lower the credit ratings will more likely file excessive claims. As a result, if you don’ t remain in good standing credit wise, you are bound to run into this issue, as well.

Seniors and Baby Boomers should always be in the know regarding the condition of their credit. Take for instance, if a senior or baby boomer wants to move into an adult rental  community, the rental community still requires a credit score. Maybe as a baby boomer, you don’t want to rent, but would rather purchase a smaller home. Unless you plan to pay cash, plan on your credit score determining whether you get a loan. Other reasons for checking your credit on a YEARLY basis are to prevent identity theft, incorrect information being on the report and at least having the ability to fight anything that could potentially affect your credit.

I have included the following links for anyone who wants to learn more information on the credit score saga!

money.howstuffworks.com/…/credit-score.htm

www.annualcreditreport.com

 

Easy Money

No such thing- right?? WAIT! Please read on. Forwarding this info to someone you know and care about who is 62 or older, could truly benefit from this information. This could be your good deed for the day!

Do you know someone who is House rich, Cash poor? This is a common thread running through the fabric of America, not to change any time in the near future. With the economic breakdown during the past few years, many people have lost some or much of their retirement income. The retiring baby boomers and seniors are wondering how they are going to live on their current income as they age. While the average life expectancy for a male is 78 and 83 for a female, the medical world tells us that with future medicine, this will go even higher!

Here’s why a Reverse Mortgage may be right for you or someone you know…

Beginning in January 2009, the Federal Housing Authority(FHA) started insuring mortgages for seniors age 62 and older. The reverse mortgage allows the homeowner to tap into immediate equity on their current home or one that they may want to purchase in the future. Granted, there are guidelines for all of this so here it is in a nut shell..

A reverse mortgage enables conversion of home equity into cash. The owner retains title to the home until it is sold at which point the owner pays the lender back the amount owed. The remaining equity is that of the homeowner. The money can be taken in one lump sum, or scheduled payments over a period of years. This can be done in the current home or for a future home purchase.

There are different loan limits depending on age and location. Generally speaking, the older the borrower, the more money that will be available. The beauty of this program is that one may downsize from the larger home into a smaller space, taking the equity out of the new home for an additional source of income.

For additional questions, please visit .http://www.hud.gov/offices/hsg/sfh/hecm/rmtopten.cfm

Like everything in life, there are always Pros and Cons- So check it out for yourself and you decide.

HONESTLY??

You can’t be serious! You want me to do what? Lie for you? Why would you ask me to compromise my integrity? Don’t you know me by now?  After all this time,  don’t you know that I take pride in my profession?   I took an oath to myself and the State of New Jersey that I will  only make true representations of all matters of real estate! So, here I am, having worked with a client for well over a year, spend many weekends, nights, mornings and precious gas trying to help these clients. And what happens?? They want me to lie on an application for them with my signature! After saying no, the response is” all realtors lie, you mean you NEVER bend the rules?” Then storms out the home we are seeing leaving me standing there! OMG- Has it really come down to this that realtors have such a bad rap??? Well, I would like to say this, like any profession, there are always bad apples. ALWAYS. Of course, my profession is no different. With that being said, there are MANY of us who take our profession seriously and approach it with integrity. We work very hard for our commissions and I will guarantee that most of us DO NOT back up to the paycheck window. We spend hours and hours servcing our clients to the best of our ethical abilities. So when someone asks me to lie for them, I ask, ARE YOU SERIOUS?